Broken Heart
Normally, when people talk about broken hearts, they mean it metaphorically. I had my heart broken literally, by an atrial myxoma, a non-cancerous tumor on my right atrium. Ironically, I…
The Four Tendencies for Writers
You want to write a book. So you sit down at your desk, open your computer, and write it. Right? Stop laughing. Or crying, depending on how vast the gap…
Book Coaching
When I was young, a coach was a guy in a t-shirt with a whistle around his neck, instructing and encouraging—often in less than gentle terms—athletes to excel. Today, there…
Getting to The End
In November 2014, I started writing a new novel during NaNoWriMo but ran out of steam after writing just shy of 10,000 words. Over the next five years, I worked on it…
Life Is Like Enchiladas
I recently mentioned to someone that I had made enchiladas, and they asked if it was hard. My initial thought was no, it isn’t, but then I amended that: it…
The Human Operating System
A friend who is a life coach often asks on social media, what are you doing to practice self-care? My answer is usually, “More than you could possibly imagine.” There…
The Magic Ratio
One of the most useful concepts in my professional and personal toolbox is one I stumbled upon nearly 15 years ago when I was trying to save my troubled marriage.…
We are what we repeatedly do
If we say we are a writer, but we do not write every day, we are not a writer. If we say we are kind, but we treat people thoughtlessly…
The U-Curve of Happiness
Today I turn 53, and it’s one of the happiest birthdays of my life. Last year, 52 was wonderful, too. My worst birthdays? 47 and 50. I’m sure part of the explanation is…
Leadership Lessons from the Game of Thrones
When you play the game of thrones, Cersei Lannister tells Ned Stark, you win or you die. The stakes are lower as we navigate the shoals of modern career-building, but…
Timehop
When I heard people talk about Timehop, I thought they meant when Facebook greets you with these “x years ago today” memories. Apparently that’s just called Facebook Memories, and Timehop…
Once upon a time, I wrote a book
Once upon a time, I wrote a book. Two books, actually. Three, if you count my dissertation, but it’s full of Greek and academese so I probably shouldn’t. Oh, and several…
The Tea Ceremony
Since I stopped blogging regularly five or six years ago, I’ve written a few posts, but in fits and starts. Every time I think about starting again, I think, why? Do…
Can you ever go home again?
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said you could never step into the same river twice, since the river ever flowed, and was never the same at any moment as it was…
Road Trip
My 10-year-old daughter and I spent the day at the Grand Canyon, her first trip there and my first time since I was her age. I was a little disappointed…
Reflections on New York
I was in New York last week for the BlogHer conference, the first time I’d been to New York in 20 years. It was exactly 20 years ago, July 1995.…
Welcome to my midlife crisis
What I now recognize as my midlife crisis began about five years ago. I was a stay at home mom, married, a practicing Catholic. I was putting the finishing touches…
What am I afraid of?
I must have read What Was I Scared Of? a thousand times over the years as one after another of my kids passed in and then out of that stage…
Why I Hate Valentine’s Day
Don’t happy people in love have enough days to celebrate? Their anniversary, the day they met, his birthday, her birthday, random romantic vacations… So many days to post pictures of…
Maskbook
The other day, I was talking on the phone with a friend I hadn’t spoken to for a while and she said, you are always so positive on Facebook. She…
The Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time: A Comedy in Three Acts
Setting: The Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi, in the City of the Holy Faith. Act I Portia, Cordelia and Tess and Mom wait for mass to begin. Tess…
Blood and Watermelon
Santa Fe sits in the foothills of a portion of the Rocky Mountains known as the Sangre de Cristo, which is Spanish for the Blood of Christ. The early Spanish…
The end of innocence
He was a sweet, golden-haired boy, and his mother had kept him pure. Then I came along. I, with my worldly daughters. We, experienced in the ways of the flesh…
Toilet training future adults
Before you blog about your toddler’s toilet training triumphs, accompanied by pictures or video, think twice. I’m not saying don’t do it because I’m prissy and think it’s gross. There’s…
A mother’s love
Before I had children, I had no concept of the power of a mother’s love. Truly, it can overcome almost anything. The example I am about to give is mundane,…
Bifocal blues
I’ve finally gotten used to my progressive bifocals. At first I felt as though I’m walking in a pit, and they threw my depth perception off. I’m still careful backing…
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